Disappointment

Honestly - I'm pissed off. Furious. Angry. Sad. Overwhelmed. Irritated. In which other words could I describe how I feel right now.

Feels like I am fighting against windmills. With no success. Possibly this is due to the fact that I have not been able to take my normal pain medication and last night I slept only for four hours. In pain. When I woke up this morning, my feet hurt so bad I wasn't able to take steps right after waking up. I managed to get to the shower and sat on my chair for a long long time, and still my feet kept aching. We had a visitor this morning, and the result is that our community is not going to help me. Well, that is the negative way. To turn it around to the positive side - all I have to do is to ask for a new statement from the doctor, which states that I am not able to rise up the stairs, I use triangle-medicine and that my condition is permanent, not temporary. After this, I may leave an application for assisted taxi-rides. But, I am only allowed to travel within the neighboring communities, not for example to go and meet my parents, even though the law says that the community has to ensure that my quality of life is upheld and that I am able to meet with my family and friends for atleast 10hours every month.

I understand that it is too much to ask. But why on earth is there such a law, if no-one has to obey it? Why do I have to fight for my rights? Not to party, like the Beastie Boys :D

Tomorrow my doctor is at her office, so I can contact her once again and ask for this statement, so that I would be able to do something else than to sit at home.

But the worst part is that I had hoped that I would particitipate in some kind of activity. Like for example chairgymnastics. Or just meet with other people once a week. Or to have someone to talk to every once in a while. But no, nothing. Not even hope. Well, ofcourse I may join a group by myself. But the problem is that these other groups cost a whole lot more than the those organized by the community. And since I am not able to work, money is the obstacle.

So, in conclusion - there is no difference what you are entitled to, nothing is awarded to you free of charge.